Showing posts from February, 2015

On Fathers and Failed Relationships


I've been thinking a lot about men. But not in the way you're thinking that I'm thinking about men. Sorry to disappoint you.

I'm reading a book called "Rebuilding" and an early chapter encourages the reader to think about their parental relationships and how they may have impacted future relationships with the opposite gender. This may sound Freudian in nature, but I gave it a chance. After all, my views on marriage were born from my parents' marriage, since that was the example I was exposed to my entire life. But I'd have to go further and examine my relationship with my dad, to see if this could inform me of my views on relationships, marriage and ultimately towards men. A later chapter then asks the reader to reflect on relationships with men (i.e. dating or marriage) to examine if there were specific patterns that developed from maladaptive experiences.

As I am sure you know, our community doesn't openly talk about a lot of things. But …

Marriage...Interrupted, Part 5: The Final Chapter

There are many losses you endure during a divorce - the loss of hopes and dreams; the loss of trust; the loss of a partner and spouse; the loss of company; the loss of a spiritual union.

And the loss of self.

It's only been recently that when I look into the mirror, I start to see myself again. You know, that sparkle that everyone has in their eyes when they genuinely laugh or smile? Three months post-Islamic divorce, and I'm slowly starting to feel like myself...and part of a new person. This experience has changed me for the better, I think.

But what I didn't know was how much of my confidence would be shattered and how much effort it would take to build back. I'm still working on it, and I will for a while.

My work life has thankfully been very stable and has continued to blossom. This is a huge blessing from God, since it's been my crutch during difficult times. But I've also poured my heart and soul into working a little too much, trying to compensate for…