Showing posts from March, 2012

Busting Marriage Stereotypes

Marriage advice...sigh. I seem to be getting quiet a lot these days, to which I do listen and take it all in. But what I'm finding is that they are mostly stereotypical in nature, yet they're passed onto married couples-to-be as if the information needs to be lived by. In order to reduce my flustered-ness, I thought I'd blog about them.

Here goes nothing.

Stereotype #1: "Prepare to put on weight after marriage, you're only watching what you eat until the wedding"

This stereotype relies on a few fallacies. First of all, it assumes that I only started eating healthy and exercising when I found out I was getting married. Second, it assumes that I am ONLY taking care of my health for the sole purpose of finding a man and now that I have, I don't have to give two rupees about what I'm eating or how active I am. Third, it's assuming that I'm going to turn into a sedentary coach potato blob who apart from working more than 8 hours a day will binge ea…

The Big Move

I've lived in my current house with my family since 1999, the year I moved to Calgary. I've taken numerous buses to and from the university campus, driven down the same street millions of times, played tennis on the same weathered courts, and (occasionally!) ran the same 5K loop around my neighbourhood for those 13 years. I've had friends come and go while visiting, family from both sides of my parents stay with us, and more recently, I've seen my future husband and his family become a part of our home. Alhamdulillah, it's an amazing feeling.

And in a few short months, both Muslim Brothah and Muslim Sistah will have to take a step and form a home of their own.

To backtrack a little for those non-Muslims reading this blog...Muslim parents don't usually support their kids leaving home at the age of 18, in terms of them having reached a milestone with becoming an adult (side note: brain research now informs us that brain development isn't complete until our mi…

The "Muslimization" of Wedding Services

While browsing through my Facebook earlier today, I came across an Ad on the side that stated "Professional photographer for Muslim weddings, willing to travel across the US and Canada". I was super curious and clicked to visit their Facebook page. After browsing through their portfolio pictures, I realized that this was solely a marketing scam, since the couples photographed had nothing special about their pictures apart from their outfits! I mean really, are Muslim weddings SO unique that there's a niche within photographers to specialize?!

My goodness, what else is next?! An Islam-specialized decorator? A Muslim butcher, baker, and candlestick maker? In my eyes, it's all baloney and probably a result of savvy professionals capitalizing on the growing Muslim population and the number of hitches happening.

Over the past couple of months, my fiance and I have been researching and meeting and talking and explaining and booking various services for our upcoming Nikah …

The Annoying Auntie Abomination

Last night, I had the pleasure of attending a certain school's staff appreciation dinner...more like, targeted contract staff Q and A dinner. At least my decision to keep details about my upcoming Nikah private were reinforced when I was barraged with questions from an Auntie who not ONCE used the word "Alhamdulillah" (All praises due to Allah) or "InshaAllah" (Allah willing). It was freaky, since the moment she saw my ring, her face dropped and she angrily plunged into the following dialogue with me:

Muslim Auntie 1 (MA-1): Sam-eeeeeeeee-raaaaaaaaa!! WHY didn't you tell me you were getting married, huh? WHY?

Me: To be honest, a lot of people don't know, I prefer to keep it that way.

MA-1: But I would have been happy for you, I am not like those other people

Me: Well I'm sorry, but I prefer to keep things quiet. (At this point, I walk away and back to my table and sit quietly, burning a hole into my pecan pie and pineapple slices. I knew the barrage …

Forgotten Acts of Kindness

By the Bus Stop
She stood out from the crowd. As I drove by campus a couple of weeks ago on my way from a school to my office, my peripheral vision caught a young lady by a bus-stop in front of the U of C. She was walking back and forth, but not in a normal pacing kind of way. She walked with a dejected gait, was talking to herself, somewhat shuffling at times, and looking like she was about to cry. A few students walked by her, stared, and made their way on. The light turned green and I was forced to drive, unable to suddenly switch into the left lane to make a U-turn to stop and ask if she was OK. I continued to look into my rear view mirror, and she was still pacing dejectedly until she was no larger than a small speck. I regretted not pulling a sudden turn, the result being that she was on my mind for the rest of that day.

And so was the fact that while numerous students walked by her and stared, no one seemed to be able to spare 5 seconds to say the words "Are you doing alrigh…

The Dangers of Disney

Barbie needs to wear an Abaya. The Little Mermaid needs to cover her midriff. And Princess Jasmine sure ain't in Arabia if she's dressing like that. The Bratz dolls need to stop dressing like street walkers. Miley Cyrus needs to put some clothes on and Lady Gaga should be locked up.

Starting from a very young age, girls are exposed to poor female role models. From all the Disney princesses littered in movies, to the pre-teen singing sensations, to the clothing companies that purposely market adult clothing to tweens...are girls getting any positive messaging from the media? They are certainly not. Thanks to our hypersexualized society and images of sexuality flooding our televisions, music, and clothing companies, positive images are rare to find.

It all starts with the problematic Disney princesses that we think are innocent. Yet when you dig deeper into these princesses you realize that there are many dangerous commonalities: the way they dress is scandalous; they all have …