Change

It's been almost a month since my last post, I just haven't really had any strong feelings towards blogging about anything!! I've been asking myself 'why?' and apart from the hectic-ness of life and work, I realize that I've been transitioning to a new stage in life.

My entries over the past year have focused on my own journey to hijab-ness and heightened awareness of my spirituality, and I really felt a need to try and make sense of what was happening around me. Blogging helped me do that! But traveling to Morocco and spending two weeks there made me realize that I no longer need to try and find my place in this world. Morocco helped me realize that I have consolidated who I am, what I want out of life, and that if I put my mind to anything, I can achieve it, Inshallah. All that blogging and soul searching over the past year really made a difference, and I'm now ready to move on from that part of my life to the next.

Deciding to go and volunteer in a foreign country, by myself, was a huge decision, but it honestly took me a split second to decide on going! It's almost like I needed that opportunity to realize that regardless of the transition I went through to become more spiritual, I'm still the same person inside, with the same values and core beliefs I've always had. Morocco helped me channel all of the energy I have into doing something outside of my realm, so that it was no longer about my own needs, but about others. It also made me realize that I am not easily influenced by what others think or do around me anymore. Furthermore, I've made the shift to really paying attention to the intentions I have, so that when I do hear people buzzing behind my back about what I'm doing, the strength of my convictions is the only thing that matters.

Alhamdulillah, I feel very complete in my life and have the utmost faith in my destiny. It is so easy to sit and worry about what the future holds, and WHEN this and that will happen, etc. But I've realized that you lose precious time always wanting what you don't have. Looking back over my life for the past few years, I now understand why things happened. And I really do think that sabr (patience) is one of the hardest traits to stick with, but is perhaps the most valuable.

And I am truly thankful for every opportunity that has passed my way. Everything from the family I belong to, the career I fell into, my job which I'm passionate about, my health and activity level, the strength of my convictions, and the people in my life who care about me.

Ultimately, the chapter about my hijabi conversion has come to an end! I still don't know what the following chapter will be called...I suppose I can say that it's to be continued!

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