The Caring Auntie Paradox

Us sistahs all have them! Wise aunties who care dearly about the well-being of today's Muslim sister. It's comforting yet at the same time, frustrating. Because aunties are very good at picking up topics that push your buttons and ones that you are ALREADY worried about and don't need someone else knowing that!

I can envision my aunties telling me words of advice through my entire life. It started when I was much younger, and has changed as I've grown up into adulthood (yes, I am an adult, even though I sometimes don't act like one). Although recently, since I am at that stage, marriage has been the topic of auntie advice. Here is a snippet of a recent conversation I had with one of my aunties.

Auntie: So beta, are you married yet?
Me: No auntie, not yet, but trying.
Auntie: Horrified look. Subhan'Allah, really?!
Me: Yes, Auntie, God only knows why.
Auntie: Insha'Allah you will find a good boy.
Me: Yes, Auntie, but I prefer a man.
Auntie: Because it is SO good to be married and to have children.
Me: Yes, Auntie, I like working with kids, so I'd love to have my own someday.
Auntie: You know, I was so thin like you before I had kids!
Me: Blank stare. Yes Auntie, you used to turn heads.
Auntie: Oh, I wish I was thin like you. But you look weak actually.
Me: Blank stare. Don't worry, after I have kids, I will never be as thin as I am now. I actually strength train a lot, so I'm not weak. Just thin.
Auntie: You know, I don't know why you aren't married yet, you're so tall and thin, men like that.
Me: Blank stare. You know, I need to get some more chai, I'm really thirsty. Would you like some chai too?
Auntie: Yes please beta. Oh, and take some more dessert for yourself while you're at it, you need to gain some weight.
Me: Blank stare. Yes Auntie.

There's one thing I can promise for sure. I will NEVER be this kind of auntie to anyone!

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